• Aqueelah Wheatley, M.S., LMFT

Mommy in the middle

Ok, so what do we have? Two kids, my husband, their father, and me...and now a baby?? Well not quite yet, but in a few more months my husband will be welcoming in his first, and my last little bundle of joy! So what does this mean for our already so finely blended family? Outside of raging hormones and the typical moodswings from the mother to be, we have the growing fiery of our newly pronounced pre-teen, and the temper tantrums of the baby that refuses to smoothly transition into their place as middle child.


I talked to their father, who just recently made my yougest, an older sibling, and though my little ray of sunshine jumped at the chance to be the oldest, they are cringing now, and if we thought the tantrums were out of control before, they are catastrophic now! Don't get me wrong though, I would expect such behavior from a toddler, but a school ager? No way!


Hubby and I are at a loss to say the least! Him because he's on a "never had kids before" learning curve, and me because my first rounder, in comparison, was a saint in a school uniform. So now, not only are we still progressively adjusting to our new family dynamic, me to being a wife, him to being a father, and the children, to everything in between, we are dealing with this too. As I pull my hair out, as usual, my oh so collected husband remains wonderfully unmoved, I must say however, when he thinks I'm not paying attention, I catch the new baby anxieties creeping across his brow every now and again.


Now back to the saint, or should I say "wolf in expensive clothing" lol. My once so sweet prepubescent doll is slowly but surely turning into a hormonal nightmare, and with new changes it takes little to ignite new world wars as we attempt to enforce our new home order. Please don't be mistaken though, my oldest dunpling isn't all bad... just like every season has rays of sun, so do they, but my previous efforts to be the only disciplinary in their life has officially bitten me in the butt, and HARD, and poor hubby gets no respect! With that said, mediating has become a full time job as they take their daily corners and face off, leaving me in the middle to feel each and every blow I block. To their credit however, my husband is becoming much less drill sergeant, and a lot more disney channel, and my blooming tulip, is beginning to close their petals a little less frequently, though between tantrums, sibling quarrels, and my hubby "drillbit Taylor", I still often find myself knocked out on the sidelines, quoting Rodney King, wondering "Can't we all just get along?"

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